


A Rogue's guide to Dice and Dasterd

by Amosdule



Category: The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue Series - Mackenzi Lee
Genre: Dungeons& Dragons AU, Felicity is an Artificer, M/M, Monty is a Rogue, Percy is a Bard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-01-17 20:16:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21261917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amosdule/pseuds/Amosdule
Summary: Three travelers walk into a tavern hidden in dense forest fog and instantly get hired to rid the tavern's surrounding woods of the one who's keeping the Inhabitants from leaving.orMonty's first time playing D&D with Percy and Felicity.This is very self indulgent.
Relationships: Henry "Monty" Montague/Percy Newton
Kudos: 9





	A Rogue's guide to Dice and Dasterd

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't entirely sure what to do for the swapping between the Campaign and the real world, so i decided to use the ~ sign to show the swap. If you have a better idea on how to do that, I'd appreciate it!

"Are you seriously playing a rogue? That's the most basic character class in all of D&D!" Felicity rolled her eyes as she had read the class name on Monty's first character sheet. 

"At least he's not playing a tiefling too. Then he'd have created the most basic character that every new gay player makes." Percy added while reading his sheet over her shoulder. He started to laugh " You're playing as a girl? Whys that?"

"The personality you gave her is just yours-- Thats sexist." Her face had pulled into a scowl and she slammed the paper down "I refuse to let you create a woman whos just a sex object."

Monty, whos been holding his tongue the entire time, huffed and crossed his arms while leaning back in his chair "You're being ridiculous! She's not a sex object, She's an empowered woman." His eyes ran over the pencil marks on the character sheet he was given about a week ago. He had done more research for her character than he had for anything for any of his classes. He was rather proud of her, honestly. Not an angsty background, decent rolls, just overall-- probably a more thought out character than either of theirs.

"In her summary, you literally put 'Uses her looks as an advantage'. Thats kinda sex object-y." Percy tapped on his soda can with his index finger before setting it onto the cluttered table top, full of snacks, drinks, player books, and all the junk that came with Dungeons and Dragons. All the Minis, maps, character sheets, reference books, drawings of the characters, and for some reason-- an oddly shaped box that Monty hadn't taken off the table since he opened it (in secret) . " I think you made a decent character, if you only fixed that part. I mean, If you had just made yourself, we wouldn't have instantly thought you made a character who is just there to be a pretty face-" 

"Like you." Felicity broke in.

"Yes, right. Like... you." Percy couldn't help but smiling at Monty's eyeroll at him. "I mean it in the best way." The door of their dorm room opened and Scipio came in, carrying a large Mcdonalds bag and a drink holder. 

He stepped in and shut the door with his hip "Sorry I'm late. I never thought I'd live to see the day a McDonalds would be packed. Not even on a sunday afternoon is it that busy." He set the drinks amd bag on the table and passed food out to his friends. "How's your character coming, Monty?"

Monty sat up some when he was handed fries and his sandwich "Shes completed and I'm proud of her! Felicity was complaining that I over sexualized her, when I didn't! Shes just a sensative child." He opened his drink and looked under the lid, smelling it to make sure. "Ugh, you got me Diet coke?"

Felicity took one of the fries from the bottom of the bag and tossed it in her mouth, "I think we should start now, don't you? I have class in the morning, and I know Scipio does too."

Scipio sat at the table and set up his DM station and smiled at felicity "I do. So-" he raised his hands over his computer and did jazz hands for dramatics. "Our heroes-"

"Three heros now." Monty cut in abruptly.

"...I'm aware, Henry. Please let me get to that." he paused, waiting for Monty to blurt anything else out before he started again.

"Our heroes, were last in a small shoreside town, returning the Golden Foot of Pan to the shrine, when you heard a commotion in the town square. Upon further inspection, It's a young woman who seems lost, bringing news of a town nearby, shrouded in a dense fog that makes you see the ghosts of your past, and the farther you go in, the less likely you are to leave....."

~

The townsfolk were crowded around a young woman in leather armor and a rogue's kit on her side. Her eyes connected with a young adventurer within the crowd, standing by a man who had a larger who had a backpack the size of the woman they were staring at. She started walking over and gave him a dazzling smile "You two are the talk of the town. I've heard good things. Perhaps you'd be willing to assist me with something?" she twisted a lock of red hair around her index finger. 

~

Felicity started laughing, breaking all illusion of the story. "Oh my god- is that seriously the voice you're giving her? She sounds like a Drag queen!" she leaned back in her chair as she laughed harder. 

Monty's cheeks started to heat up "Hey- I'm trying my best!!! I'm sorry I don't sound like a woman!" he crossed his arms and sank down in his chair, glaring at the table. "It's not like your male character will sound like a man! You are in no better position then me!" 

Percy sighed and leaned forward in his chair "Can we continue?"

~

The adventurer looked around anxiously and nodded "Perhaps. I'm Vacso, And this is Arthur. What's your problem?" He looked at Arthur, who was glaring down at the woman. 

"My town has been engulfed in a fog that no one can pass through without getting lost within and never escaping. Its a curse. I have an idea of where the caster is, but I cannot go alone." she looked at Arthur and raised an eyebrow "I'm Rive." she seemed more interested in Vacso and looked more at him. "Sound like something you could help with?" 

Arthur stepped between them "Of course we can handle that, but what's in it for us?" He crossed his big arms over his chest and tilted his head up. "I don't want to do something like that and barely get paid."

Rive grinned at that and put a hand on her hip "You will each be paid handsomly--I can assure you. I'll keep track. Each hour, five gold pieces. But-" she held up her index finger "-- If you dilly-dally, I'll pay you less. Only for honest work."

"Does sleeping count as honest work? Or the amount of time it takes us to get there? What about bathrom breaks?" Arthur had way too many questions and Rive was losing her train of thought.

~

"Felicity- I've never played this!! I don't know how to respond to that!" He looked over at Scipio with an expression that said 'Help!' "How am I supposed to do this?"

Scipio laughed soflty " Well, Those are pretty good questions. You walked right into that."

"Why didn't you stop me then!?" Monty laid his head on the table, frustrated, and sighed softly. "Okay..." he sat up and put his hands on the table to show emphasis "I have an idea..."

~

Rive made eye-contact with Arthur and raised her eyebrows "Are bathroom breaks usually counted as honest work? If so, what jobs do you normally do?" She smiled at them and leaned towards them "I can't leave with the crowd around the gate like this, so why don't you two meet me here tonight- lets say Midnight?"

~

"Do we have to?" Felicity whined to Scipio. "I mean, Not only is that extremely suspicious, its also creepy!" She rested her chin on the palm of her hand and looked at Percy "I mean, even you need to admit that!"

Percy laughed "Oh please- We've went off less. Plus-" He glanced at Monty "This is how Scipio set it up." Their eyes kinda caught and Percy slowly smiled more.

~  
"We'll be here." Vasco looked at her and looked at Arthur. "You hear that? Better get all your shopping done tonight." He went to go talk to Rive again and was met with a completely different person, the woman was gone. 

~

"Do we usually do the whole shopping thing?" Monty looked up from his drink and looked over at Scipio "Doesn't that take awhile?" He looked at his paper "Because if we do-"

"We don't, no worries." Scipio hummed "unless there's something you really want to do..?" He trailed off as he looked at Felicity, who looked like she was fuming.

"We never do that!! Scipio-"

"Felicity," Percy turned to her and spoke softly "Hes trying to make Monty's first session fun. Please stop overreacting. You sound like Monty." 

"Oh god- Don't compare us-"  
"Honestly, it's like I'm not right here!" Monty tapped a pencil on the table to fidget out his anger "No, I don't want to do the shopping anymore. Forget it. Lets just continue."

"Are you sure? I have no problem fixing the rules-"

"He said to forget it, so lets get going!" Felicity grinned triumphantly and finished off her fries. 

~

As midnight approached, The two adventurers were getting more and more anxious. Their shoes hit the cobblestone road while passing stores that were dark, drunks walking home, and the occasional beggar crying out for them to help. It wasn't a good place to be at night-- especially if you were by yourself. Or, in this case, meeting a possible serial killer. Which is what Arthur is 100% sure is whats going to happen. They stood in the main square-- around the same spot Rive had been hours before, asking them for help. It felt like they had been waiting forever.

"Where is that woman? She told us to be here and- surprise- she's not. I say we go to the Tavern. We can find an actual job from a reliable sourse, and not some sketchy-"

"Sketchy? Now that's harsh. I haven't even done anything to you yet." Rive stepped from the shadows, rolling her eyes. "I'm glad you came, though." She smiled gently at Vasco, who easily became flustered.

~  
"Wait, why'd he get flustered?" Monty looked over at Percy, who was in the middle of taking a drink.

"Oh- Vasco is bad at talking to woman," Percy paused and took another sip. "He's always had a bad time with woman."

"What about earlier, then? He seemed fine." 

"Oh. Right...." Percy simply smiled "I just remembered it. I honestly forgot you were supposed to be a girl." 

~

Arthur pushed between them and stood taller, making the other two feel so much smaller. "Well, now that you are here, I think we better start heading towards your village. We have other jobs to do." 

Rive nodded and started towards the edge of the town. The three adventurers walked in silence, their shoes hitting the cobblestone was the only sound between them.

~

"So, do we just say we are in the forest now?" Monty looked at their characters on the map. "Because that's a long way to get there and it's almost 12." He paused and checked the time on his phone. When he was met with silence he looked up at three people giving him an expression of annoyance.

"We usually would say the journey there-" Scipio started before Monty interrupted quickly.

"But we are running out of time- Let's just say that we have arrived into the forest and start from there!" Monty smiled at him happily, flashing the dimples as he did so. 

"....Fine. Just this once. Since it's the closest thing to the city." Scipio hummed and flipped the board around and moved the decorative squares around to create the forest. He placed their minis at the front and looked at Felicity to start.

~

Arthur kept himself between Rive and Vasco, not wanting anymore distractions to the job at hand. Once Rive stopped, Vasco ran into Arthur's back rather comedically. "Why are we stopping?" Arthur's voice was level but he sounded annoyed. This is wasting time. 

Rive rolled her eyes and gestured to the forest. "This is where the 'safe zone' ends. We'll lose eachother in the fog if we don't stay close. so-" she put down her backpack and pulled out a long rope. "I took the liberty of packing this so we can tie it to our belts- so we don't get lost." She tied the rope around Arthur's belt, and then went to Vasco to tie it. "It's better then getting lost, ya know?" she smiled at both of them.

~

"You brought rope? Like that's going to hold up when we get attacked by something that has even remotely sharp- anything, really. Teeth, claws, armor-" Percy yawned as he was listing everything on his hand. It was getting later and he seemed ready to call it a night "- weapons maybe. Any type of flame would burn it too. Is it enchanted in any way?"

Monty shrugged and looked at his sheet "I don't think so- Yea, its not."

"Normal piece of rope?"

"Normal piece of rope."

Percy smiled while rolling his eyes "Ah. How helpful." 

Scipio cleared his throat, making the three others look at him. "As much as I love hearing two hormonal teenage boys not know how to deal with their emotions and instead express it by aggressive and annoying flirting, I have class in 8 hours and need to sleep at least that. Felicity- you do as well." He started collecting his books, laptop, and putting them quickly in his bag. Within minutes, the table became less chatotic, minus the "discretely" shaped box Monty had left there for weeks. 

Scipio waved at the two who were left from the door "See you next session. Text me when you're available!" and quickly shut the door, leaving Monty and Percy in the real world once again.


End file.
